one more bye

ow...
and one other thing.
leaving the view i used to have from my playground window.
that cool sky, empty streets [and sometimes full of car lights], that raindrops on the window glass. it's all gone bye bye.

playground gone bye bye

this is my last post from this computer.
am leaving this playground i used to live in for these couple of years.
gone thru every ups and downs [mostly ups].
and time to move to another playfield.
having to leave the brotherhood is one of the toughest thing.
never an easy thing to say goodbye.

carefree mode on

these couple of days i woke up in a carefree mood. not that i've never been in that state so that these days were special, it's just this time the feeling was manipulated, deliberately meant to be feeling that way. i learned quite so many things these past years, and few days ago i'd like to try another new things to add up to my list of life. i've tried this couple of times before, but never been consistent in doing it. so in order to live in a healthy carefree mood, i decided to be more discipline. hey, what kind of carefree life is that?! more discipline in not doing any worrying, procastinating, doubting kind of attitude that would ruin the prospect of having a healthy carefree mood. expectedly the result would be an answer, an understanding [not the 'i think it is...' but the 'i know it is..."], without any doubt. we'll see.

[oyster magz, photography ezra patchett]

just walk. trust life.

yah tinggal dijalanin aja lah. kadang suka repot sendiri mikirin gaya apa yang harus dipakai pas jalan. padahal sudah ada sutradaranya. sudah dikasih guidingnya. tinggal dijalani saja. meski ujung catwalknya belum kelihatan, lampu-lampu sorotnya suka bikin deg-degan, belum lagi dengan hak sepatu super tinggi khawatir keseleo, tapi sebenernya nggak ada pilihan lain selain terus jalan. kekhawatiran, keraguan, ketakutan, nggak ada gunanya.
percaya saja bahwa semua itu sudah ada yang mengatur. just walk. trust life.

[defile viktor & rolf, printemps-ete 2005, crash magazine, photography frank perrin]

a faded kind of mellow

This love
This love is a strange love
A faded kind of mellow
This love

This love
I think I'm gonna fall again
And ever when you held my hand
It didn't mean a thing, this love

This love
Now rehearsed we stay, love
Doesn't know it is love
This love

This love
It hasn't have to feel love
It hasn't need to be love
It hasn't mean a thing
This love

This love loves love
It's a strange love, strange love

This love
This love
This love is a strange love, strange love
I'm gonna fall again love
It doesn't mean a thing
Think I'm gonna fall again
This Love

[this love, craig armstrong]

together is all i knew

are we going somewhere? are we going anywhere? you drive or still giving me the steering wheel to drive from the passanger seat? if i drive, will you go in the same car? if you drive, will you let me in the car? will we go to the same direction? will you drive fast enough? will i drive slow enough? too many questions lead to too many confusions. so stop questioning.
only one simple answer needed. and the fact that we are driving in the car right now. together.

fine pretender

gosh! i'm such a great pretender [minus the cliche phrase from an oldies love song]. i could look like a person with a couldn't care less attitude like this girl in the pic, although feeling giberish and quite shaken. who would've thought this so called cool girl shudders when facing minor info details thrown at her absent mindedly that other thought she wouldn't be bothered by it. if only this person knew that this girl was taken aback. and why is it so importante for me to keep an aloof look anyway???!!!

neue

tahun baru.
semuanya serba baru.
rasa baru.
taman bermain baru juga kebetulan.
yah di awal tahun ini selain gue, beberapa teman dekat juga memulai langkah baru yang cukup drastis. yang selalu mengagungkan kehidupan freelance dan menikmati setiap detiknya, sekarang mulai menapakkan kakinya ke major corporate life. sebaliknya, teman lain yang selama 5 tahun terakhir ini selalu pergi kantor jam 9 pagi pulang jam 1 pagi, kini menanggalkan otak dan badannya yang stress karena didera deadline, memutuskan untuk berhenti. menggantinya dengan belajar fashion desain yang memang sudah dicintainya sejak dulu.
it's all about action. not just thinking the thought but actually doing it.
satu hal lagi yang cukup baru. that very very verrryyy much thing.
may there be something somehow here and now.